Here is the master list of IES rules:

(0000) Resistance is futile - you will be assimilated.
(0001) Organization is the key to life.
(0002) Burger King is the official IES fast food establishment.
(0003) Coca Cola is the official IES soft drink.
(0004) All IES CPUs shall be named using the a convention of isip_## where ## denotes a number left zero-padded (for example, isip00).
(0005) All IES machines can be identified by an alias that must be a valid character in a Dr. Seuss book.
(0006) All IES X terminals shall be named using a convention of vendor_XXYZZ, where "vendor" denotes the name of the manufacturer, "XX" denotes the size of the terminal, "Y" is "b" for black and white, "g" for grayscale, or "c" for color (for example, ncd20c02).
(0007) Usernames shall be your surname, or the first most significant 8 characters in cases where your surname is longer than 8 characters. (In the latter case, you really ought to consider a name change.)
(0008) All IES personnel shall use the standard IES environment.
(0009) Thou shalt keep thy rmail file empty, and use folders extensively.
(0010) Thou shalt program in C++ using gcc, and declare emacs the king of all editors.
(0011) ".cc" is the official file extension for C++ code.
(0012) Filenames shall use lowercase, use the underscore character for separation of components, and only use a period to delimit the file extension (for example, "/u1/user/mail/this_year/rmail.mail").
(0013) Don't ask permission; beg forgiveness (known as the TI rule).
(0014) Dyeing of one's skin to a non-natural skin color is not permitted (the Richard Anton rule - blue is not considered a natural skin color).
(0015) The minute you start data collection, Facilities will decide to start doing some major construction project (a rule of speech research).
(0016) Software is installed onto IES systems using a convention of /common/vendor/tool/vX.X/{bin,lib,src,...}.
(0017) Someone should be able to understand any paper you have written by simply looking at the figures.
(0018) Adobe's Framemaker is the official IES wordprocessor.
(0019) All Frame documents shall be self-contained to simplify integration into our web site.
(0020) All graduating students preparing for an oral exam must must present the committee with a copy of the foils for their presentation three weeks before their presentation.
(0021) The higher the number of hours of coursework you have completed, and the higher your GPA, the larger the monitor on your desk gets.
(0022) Never install the first release of any software (known as the Joe Ramey rule).
(0023) Never purchase entry level monitors.
(0024) Sumo is an IES-approved spectator sport.
(0025) You must keep your mailtray reasonably empty, and process all routed materials in a timely fashion.
(0026) Do not get on the wrong side of the departmental secretaries - this can only serve to prolong your time to graduation.
(0027) An IES account is a privilege awarded to you by the Director of ISIP. You are subject to IES's rules and regulations (which are largely made up by the Director as he/she sees fit). Your account has been provided for the pursuit of science only. No computer games are allowed on these systems.
(0028) Never be a member of an organization that would have you as a member (the Woody Allen rule).
(0029) Auto-placement of windows shall occur in the lower right of your screen, except for emacs, which shall be placed in the upper left (originally submitted by Rick Duncan).
(0030) Replies to webmaster must copy webmaster so we don't send multiple replies.
(0031) Keep all designated IES areas clean at all times.
(0032) Students are expected to meet your scheduled work hours within the 8 AM to 6 PM work day.
(0033) If you will be out of the office for an extended period, send the Director a message (this is a better alternative than having the Director find you missing). Use calendar manager and keep your calendars current.
(0034) A directory shall contain one of the following: files, one file and other subdirectories, only subdirectories.
(0035) Only authorized personnel are allowed in the building after hours.
(0036) Multiply the Director's estimates for the level of effort a task will require by four to determine how much time it will take to complete a task.
(0037) Anyone desiring to audit a music class must sing the ISIP spirit song once in front of the group at lunch.
(9837) People will not make / propose arbitrarily numbered ISIP rules.
(9993) Any IES student who gets married during their tenure in ISIP must pay their advisor's way to their wedding if the advisor is invited.
(9994) IES is governed by democratic principles.
(9995) The Director's vote is equal to (N+1) student votes.
(9996) The IES Director of Human Resources, also known as the Director's wife, always casts the deciding vote.
(9997) The Director of IES shall be known as the Benevolent Dictator.
(9998) In reality, we have one simple rule: "If the Director thinks some action is improper, you are guilty as charged." So much for democracy...
(9999) The Director of IES reserves the right to make new ISIP rules as he/she sees fit, and is the only one authorized to put rules on this list.