Dilbert's Words of Wisdom:

• I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
  
  
• I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
  
  
• Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
  
  
• Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
  
  
• I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
  
  
• Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
  
  
• A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
  
  
• Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  
  
• After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
  
  
• The more junk you put up with, the more junk you are going to get.
  
  
• Salary Theorem
  
  Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."
  This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
  Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
  Postulate 2: Time is Money.
  As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
  And since: Knowledge = Power and: Time = Money
  It is therefore true that: Knowledge = Work / Money
  Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
  Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.
  
  Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.